Decompression time

"I fear that I'm ordinary, just like everyone"

The Smashing Pumpkins, "Muzzle"

Now, I don't know whether Billy Corgan meant that everyone was afraid to be ordinary, or that he was afraid that he was like everyon else. I'd definitely go for the latter.

One of my best friends called me the other day. His kids are a bit older than Brandon (3 years old and 18 months, with another on the way), and he related what a preschool teacher told him:

"Oh, you don't want to teach your daughter to read or write or do math. If you do that, she'll be so far ahead of the other kids she'll get bored and it'll be difficult for her."

So much for encouraging the best and brightest, huh? I'm a little worried about Brandon starting school and having the same problems, but I'd much rather have him be too far ahead than too far behind. He's only a tick under 4 months old, but people from doctors to daycare workers to other parents have already told us that he's undeniably bright. Hopefully he'll be lucky and find some good friends and not get chewed up by the system.

Am I afraid he'll get bullied for being different, like I was? Not really. More often than not, I'd be the ones sending the bullies home with aches and pains of various degrees. The last bully I had was actually in university (can you believe that?), and he got a couple of trips to the hospital for his efforts.

I'll definitely try to do a better job of being a life coach for him, and for all of my kids, should we have more. I'm a strong believer that kids should be allowed to make their own mistakes and learn from them, but there were times that I really needed some guidance that I wasn't always in a position to get. My parents were/are both bright and intelligent people, but somehow, the way the dna fused, I developed into someone neither of them were really able to relate to. If I had gotten different advice, I surely would have become a different person. The jury's out on whether or not that's a good thing, but it's the sort of thing you think about when you're having a rough time in your chosen job/profession.

My resume is handed in for another job, but it will be several weeks yet before I hear any news. I'm doing my mental prep work to get ready for the prerequisite exams and interviews. I haven't really done a job interview in almost 7 years, and I'm probably pretty rusty. Though I do have a 15-year streak of getting every job I've ever been interviewed for. Hopefully this will be one more.

***

This weekend, I really rediscovered my love for playing the guitar. I'm no virtuoso, I'm self-taught and am pretty sloppy, but there's just something cathartic about belting out a song and not caring what you sound like. I just finished playing a marathon of songs by the Smashing Pumpkins, opening with Rhinoceros, then in order, Drown, Cherub Rock, Today, Soma, Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Porcelina of the Vast Oceans and Muzzle. I haven't played some of those songs in years, yet somehow, my fingers still remembered where to go, after a false start or two. I refuse to tune my guitar to flats, so I have to stretch a bit with my voice in the higher key, but what the hell, it's not like Billy's voice is outstanding anyway. That's not the point.

I really feel rejuvenated and ready to go back to work on Monday. I just hope the weeks start getting better from here on out.