"She Had A Hard Life..."

So...been a while. Brandon's getting older and is turning my previously scheduled life into a train wreck, and what with a new job and such, blogging unfortunately takes low priority. Shame.

However, I saw two unrelated newspaper articles that deserved comment.

1) Lady in Sudbury kidnaps a baby. Relative asks for forgiveness, saying "she had a hard life...".

2) Newspaper columnist has grade school bully attempt to befriend her on Facebook. Not only refuses friendship, but sees fit to send an insulting message back to said bully, followed by further insults and all of a sudden, I look around, and everyone's back in grade school again.

These two articles, to me, epitomize the worst of our victim society. Look, EVERYONE has had a hard life. Sure, what I consider "hard" and what others consider "hard" are in the eyes of the beholder, I don't think you'll find a huge percentage of people who say their lives have been roses the whole time. The easiest way to get attention, is to get people to feel sorry for you. Case in point: what's the first thing you do when you hear someone's sob story? The first instinct, usually, is to try to tell a bigger sob story. I do it, even though I don't intend to. If you don't have that instinct, kudos to you.

"Having a hard life" is not an excuse to kidnap babies, set fire to things, exact revenge on your tormentors, etc. "Having a hard life" should give the motivation required to escape the socioeconomic barriers imposed upon you at birth. Everyone has it in them to rise above their personal situation and grow. Some situations are more difficult than others, but with hard work and dedication, all your dreams might not come true, but you'll certainly end up in a better place than where you started. And isn't that all that anyone really has the right to ask for?

On the subject of bullies: yeah, I was bullied as a kid. Not as badly as kids get it nowadays, but I got roughed up a bit. And I got made fun of because I was gawky and smart. Hell, even some of my teachers joined the fun at my expense. But if any of those people were to try to get into contact with me today, would I begrudge them? Absolutely not. I believe that it's the cumulative amount of our life experiences that make us who we are, and as I've said before, since I really like who I am now and where I'm at, I therefore have to be grateful for everything that's happened to me to get me to this point, for better or for worse.

Being an adult and still harbouring grudges against people who wronged you during school, which amounts to a lifetime ago, is just sad. It's a waste of precious energy and no good can come of it. You end up just reliving all of that pain over and over again, with no way to resolve it or change the past. The idea isn't to take all those negative feelings and bury them, because that isn't any better. The idea is to accept your past and acknowledge that it can't be changed. Then, even if you never see your bullies again, you have to forgive them. Not in person, but within your heart. You have to forgive, and thank them for giving you a challenge in your life to overcome, which made you a stronger person. That way, your negative experiences get reframed into a positive. It's easier said than done, but if you manage, it can set you free.